One of our kids had been potty trained for years. Then came a Saturday drive to see Grandpa.

We had done everything right. Everyone had gone potty before we left the house. By the time we got to the freeway, our child said they needed to use the restroom.

And I asked if they really needed to go or if they could wait.

Then road construction and traffic made it hard to get off the freeway. By the time I reached the next exit, it was too late. It was embarrassing for everyone in the car.

What we did next

We pulled over at a gas station, and our child changed into the spare clothes we had packed. The seat was still wet and we had no way to dry it, so we covered it with plastic bags and kept going. We got to Grandpa’s dry. None of us ever mentioned it again.

That last part matters most. Children know when they’ve had an accident, and it’s embarrassing for them. Getting upset only makes it worse, and it can make them afraid of making mistakes. The only thing left to choose that day was how to respond, and grace was the right answer.

The lesson: stop before they ask

That road trip was on me. When our child said they needed to go, I asked if they really did. Now we make the stop before they ask, and we believe them when they do.

Our go-bag for the road

• Extra underwear, a few pairs
• Extra shorts or pants (we pack these instead of extra diapers)
• Plastic bags for wet clothes and wet seats
• Wipes, and extra socks if your child is wearing shoes
• A few small treats for trying
• A spare towel to keep the car easy to clean

Before we leave, everyone uses the potty, not just the child. We tell our child the plan: “We’ll stop at the bathroom when we get there.” And we find out where the first bathroom is.

Grace at home and from the Father

This is where our faith shows up in ordinary life. We want our children to know they’re loved, that they can make mistakes, and that we’ll make it through together. That’s a small picture of the gospel: giving each other grace, seeking forgiveness, offering forgiveness, and moving on. We want our kids to grow up knowing a gracious Father instead of a harsh one.

If a rough moment with your kids has you wondering how to reconnect, Restoring Connection may help.

Extraordinary families are built during ordinary days, even the ones with a wet seat.

Keep reading

• The Potty Training Moments Nobody Warns You About
• What I Wish Other Dads Knew About Potty Training
• Embracing Calm Parenting

Read the full chapter on grace, free.

The road trip story is in Principle 6 of our free 12-page sample, along with a letter to Mom and two printables.

Not medical advice. One family’s experience, shared with grace.