Adapting to Your Child’s Growth
Mentoring is a lifelong process, but as our kids grow, their needs and perspectives shift. The way we mentor a five-year-old is different from how we guide a teenager. Understanding these changes ensures that our mentoring sessions remain relevant, engaging, and effective for every stage of childhood.
Mentoring Young Children (Ages 4-8)
At this stage, mentoring is about building trust, teaching basic habits, and helping them set small, achievable goals. Young kids thrive on consistency and encouragement.
Tips for Success:
- Keep the sessions short (5-10 minutes).
- Use simple language and concrete examples.
- Choose goals that are action-based, like “make my bed every morning” or “say thank you without being reminded.”
- Use positive reinforcement—lots of high-fives and encouragement!
💡 Example Goals:
- Spiritual: Say a prayer before bed.
- Physical: Play outside for 30 minutes daily.
- Educational/Learning: Practice writing their name.
Mentoring Tweens (Ages 9-12)
Tweens are developing independence and self-awareness. They start forming opinions and values, making mentoring an opportunity to reinforce character development and responsibility.
Tips for Success:
- Ask more open-ended questions to encourage deeper thinking.
- Allow them to reflect on past goals and what worked or didn’t.
- Start introducing discussions about self-government and personal accountability.
💡 Example Goals:
- Spiritual: Read a scripture story each night.
- Physical: Complete a 30-day fitness challenge.
- Educational/Learning: Memorize multiplication tables.
Mentoring Teens (Ages 13-18)
Teens are preparing for adulthood and need mentorship that respects their growing independence. Our older kids often prefer to set their own goals rather than using the suggested categories—but interestingly, they usually end up writing goals in the same areas!
Tips for Success:
- Let them take the lead in setting goals and evaluating their progress.
- Focus on helping them identify why they may not have reached a goal and what habits or tactics they could change.
- Encourage discussions on their future aspirations and long-term vision.
- Be a mentor, not just a parent—listen more than you speak.
💡 Example Goals:
- Spiritual: Attend early morning seminary without missing a day.
- Physical: Train for a 5K race.
- Educational/Learning: Learn a new skill like coding or cooking.
Adjusting for the Seasons of Life
Mentoring isn’t static. Just like life, it evolves. During the summer months, we adjust the Educational Goal to a Skill Learning Goal so kids continue growing outside of school.
For older kids, it’s also valuable to revisit goals more frequently, making adjustments as they discover what works best for them.
Final Thoughts
No matter the age, the heart of mentoring remains the same: helping our children grow in confidence, character, and capability.
Want to get started? Download the Mentoring Session Sheets and adapt them for your child’s stage of development.
Download the Mentoring Sheets Here!
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